Posted: 9/16/2014 | Relationships	Comments
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We’ve been talking about the value of being curious in life, as well as being curious in the beginning of relationships and in long term relationships.

Let’s talk about those red flags in relationships.

Being curious about any red flags that come up when you are in relationships can help inform you on what needs to be done.

The developing stage of the relationship is the time to be as curious as the proverbial cat. Curiosity can help you garner the information needed at the beginning of a potentially difficult relationship. It can save you from much heartache and possible looming disaster.

As the relationship unfolds, by asking questions you may discover something you need to give deeper consideration to…before staying in a relationship and especially before saying “I do.”

You may discover important things you weren’t aware of concerning your partner’s core values, psychological or emotional needs, or spiritual beliefs. In this case, curiosity can deepen your relationship and help you learn how to honor those areas, which will build intimacy between the two of you.

Or, his irritation might be the tip of an anger or rage issue. Taken even further, it could even be the beginnings of abuse that might show up down the road. In this case, being curious could save you from a very painful relationship. 

Notice how he or she handles disagreements. Does she get stuck in always having to be “right”? Do you then react by feeling like you must walk on eggshells around her?

Does she react aggressively when you disagree with her? Do you habitually feel nervous or scared about that?

There are two different things at work in red flags. One is what the other person is teaching you about themselves in their interactions, personal history, body language, energy, and tone of voice.

The second is what it is bringing up in you to see, understand, and heal.  It helps to cultivate an ability to navigate your inner thoughts and feelings. In order to be curious, you might have to challenge that frightened part inside that is, for example walking on egg shells, and seek to learn what’s going on with the other person.

It takes maturity and courage to act on curiosity during a disagreement, but it is important to learn how to do so.  The questions that you ask from this level of curiosity will help you clarify the red flags and help inform the right action for you in this relationship.

Curiosity during conflicts brings more harmony and clarity and also helps you discern those red flags in your relationships.

How have you been curious when you saw a red flag? Your Comments make a difference for us all.

Please read Red Flags in Relationships (Part 2)

For further information on accessing the wisdom, happiness, fulfillment, and peace you desire, click here to learn about Dr. Howard's Multiple Award Winning Book "Your Ultimate Life Plan: How to Deeply Transform Your Everyday Experience and Create Changes That Last.

photo credit David Castillo Dominici via FreeDigitalPhotos.net